Saturday, March 13, 2010

Some Randomness

I have been quiet on my blog and I am sorry for that. Not that there was any one specific reason for the quietness, I just was. Needed to handle some things and just didn't have the pep in me to blog.
After having the hysterectomy, I am feeling great. I know this will sound weird, but I was struggling with the "feeling good" part of me. I guess I was so used to feeling like shit in "that department" that I didn't remember what it felt like to have no pain. Weird.
Many people warned me that I would drive myself lots of ways! LOL. I was focusing so much on NOT driving myself nuts that, well, I drove myself nuts! ARGH! I ended up being so bored, I couldn't read anymore, shows were no longer funny, there was only so much of movie watching I could handle. Then there was dealing with the emotions. What a ball of fun that was!
I was annoyed that I couldn't sit at my scrapbook table, I couldn't get things organized for back to work, I couldn't clean - not that I like to, but needed to. I couldn't just get up and go somewhere or do something. It was very restricting.
When I was on the mend, I decided to conquer Jonah's room. The kid turned 7 and still had baby things in his room. We re did his room in Transformer theme and a new loft bed. That meant packing up the baby stuff. What a brilliant thing to do after a hysterectomy.
While I was off, I was also dealing with having my character attacked. Not something that I will get into here, but it was spirit crushing. I was in a vulnerable state and didn't know how to handle it. But I figured it out with the great support of friends and I am moving onward.
I admit, I went into a black hole. I was looking at the sad side of my surgery, instead of the blessing it brought upon me. My tests came back and there was no cancer. I am ecstatic don't get me wrong, I just had a hard time centering on that instead focusing on the fact that I could not have anymore kids. It didn't help that I was being told that I was "selfish" for only having one kid and that I "should have taken care of family planning before my issues came about" WTF?? Don't get me started on that!
Like I said....Onward.
I am back to work now. I had to get back into the routine, get that brain working. It feels good! I had been inquiring about a change in roles at work and that has come to fruition. I am so very happy about that. I have a new challenge ahead of me and I plan to take it on full force. Wish me luck!
So there you have it. Bare with me while I get back into the swing of things.
I missed you all!


Angela2932 said...

Char, you don't know me, and I don't know you, but I stumbled upon your blog. Hang in there! I have no bits of advice for you, and won't presume to offer any airy things to you, but wanted to say that I really, really admire your writing. You can write! And write well! Such a treat, and I thank you for sharing all this.

shirley said...

Hi Char - glad you're back - great attitude!