Friday, August 15, 2008

Advice - Give or Take

Are you the type of person that gives advice? Or more importantly, are you the type of person that will TAKE advice?

I am often the "ear" for my friends. They tell me what dramas are happening in their life and I am the one to offer advice to them to help them get thru it. I am in no way saying I am "right" in these situations, but I always give advice that I would want given to me.

This week, the tables were turned on me......

I have been on an emotional roller coaster for a couple of weeks now and I have been feeling betrayed and taken advantage of by someone who I thought was "a friend". Turns out, sadly, I was wrong.

Now I have ALWAYS been the type of friend that gives you 100% right up front, no questions asked. But if you deceive me, it wont be pretty. For whatever reason, this one has hurt me more. I think because my child is involved.

Earlier this week, I was chatting on MSN with my friend Lee - which I should point out that I have met ONCE in real life and she has been a better friend than many I have known for years! I explained the situation to her and she gave her heartfelt advice on how to handle this situation. In my heart and head, I knew that Lee was right in what she was telling me. I KNEW IT! But I kept responding back to her with "buts". It was a key message back from Lee that struck a cord with me. She asked that if it was her telling me this, what would my advice be to her?? It was like a siren or bells and flashing lights that go off when someone wins at a lot machine. Why was I not taking the advice that would have been the same coming from my mouth? Is it just easier to dole it out than take it? Of course it is....but I know in my heart, I know in my mind, even my gut knows it. I know what I have to do. I just hope I can survive it.

So....are you an advice giver or taker?

*Lee - thanks again for being proof that friendship can be true and honest!


Cyn M said...

Hey!!! I think you are going to do the right thing and I am usually the advice giver...
Funny though, lately, I have been the receiver which for me is a weird spot to be in!!!

Char - I am with you as you make that decision!!!

Lee said...

Well, clearly, I'm an advice giver! You will do what is best, I'm sure of it. Head high, chickie!

Charlene O'Hara said...

Thanks Cyn, thanks Lee - you gals ROCK!!!

Lily said...

I think I am a giver. I have a hard time takingother people's advice. I considerit a flaw and it's something I am trying to work on.