Saturday, June 6, 2009

Letting it go in Cape Cod

Last week, I was off for a few days in Cape Cod thanks to a generous invite from my very good friend Lee. It was an amazing trip and the ladies were wonderful! I will be posting pics and more details of that soon!

Cape Cod had a major impact on me - in a very good way. There were many things I was holding on to, or rather, wouldn't let go of. And I knew that I needed to do just that. Let it go.
As some of you know, I, like many others, have had a challenging year. It started out with a death of someone very dear to my heart that I am still struggling with and continued on thru to the present with unemployment, illness, trips to hospitals, car accident, broken elbow, elbow surgery and recovery, preparing to have a hysterectomy and just general uncertainty of our financial future. Needless to say, it has sucked ass large. And yes, I do know there are others worse off than me. I am not that ignorant. I am aware of the issues from all over the world so I do not need anymore of the "things can be worse" emails. Sometimes we just need to wallow. :o)
There were some realizations that I was not prepared to deal with. The biggest one being support. I have often "been there" for people but found when it was I who was having turmoil, they didn't have the time of day, or frankly didn't care. It was not that I expected it, I was just taken aback that the "places" I thought I could go to for support, were closed. And the places I least expected, were wide open! Many people have said, when times are tough, you realize who your real friends are. This year, sadly, proved it to be very true. In so many ways.
I was starting to carry anger around with me. That anger grew after my husband was being blamed for someones cancer. Appalling and unbelievable, I know. But it happened. That threw me over the edge.

I kept praying that things would turn around. I also realized that if I didn't let things go, they wouldn't turn around. Thank God for Lee and her invite to Cape Cod. It is amazing what dipping your toes in the Atlantic Ocean and watching a sunset can do for your soul!
A couple of the ladies and I went for a walk on the beach to discover and take pictures. I stood at the edge of the beach and waited for the ocean to roll up to me.

It was not as cold as I expected it to be! But what a great feeling! I just stood there, mezmerized by the beauty of this place and the feelings that wash over you.

Afterward, I went up to Monica and Jayne and hugged them. I am sure they didn't realize why, but the emotions hit me like a wave and I just needed to hug! LOL. They probably thought I was just being "Crazy Char".

One of the last evenings we were there, we all watched a beautiful sunset.

From the start.....

.... to finish.

I have "seen" many sunsets, but very rarely are they "watched". The last time was with my husband at our honeymoon spot. I was due! It was spectacular and breathtaking.

The sunset completed it for me. Again, I felt emotional and went to hug Lee to thank her. I am quite sure Lee understood the hug. At least I hope she does. I am truly grateful. The year may be half over, but for me, after this trip it is a new start.

I really had a wonderful time in Cape Cod and I will share some more details soon.

Until then....much love,



Lee said...

You are so welcome for the invitation - even if I wasn't the one to invite you ;) THAT still cracks me up! I'm all for new beginnings and support you in yours! So glad I could provide the catalyst for it :)

Stacey said...

Great post, Char. I'm happy to hear you found your way out of the black hole. The mountains do it for me. Honestly.. not even kidding.. if you can ever find it within the budget to fly out here.... I just got an invite for my scrapbooking store for a weekend retreat in July at the mouth of the Rockies. Offer's open~

Kyla said...

Beautiful, beautiful photos Char! I'm so glad you had a little time away. It sounds like this year has been a DOOSEY for you, and this little time away has given you a much needed boost. God Bless and I'll be keeping you in my prayers. (Every little prayer helps!);)

Cyn M said...

I am so glad that you were able to go to Cape Cod and you got some much needed "you time". You sure deserve it after the year you have had so far!
Sounds like you really made some serious decisions whie you were away and some realizations. Good!
Well, I can't wait to read more about your trip!
Love ya!

Jayne said...

You certainly deserved a weekend like the one in the Cape and I am glad that it helped you move forward a bit. I want to tell you that I am amazed that even with everything you have gone through lately YOU are still able to shine through in such a loving way to others! {{two armed-hug!}}

Anonymous said...

Wow - that was some sunset!