Goodbye 2012

2012 was a bad year. 

Even worse than my 2009 which I was sure could not be worse. 

Apparently 2012 was up to the challenge of defeating that. 

It's also the reason why I wasn't really blogging. In fact, I have been going back and forth on whether I should just delete this blog. I've decided to keep the blog and maybe use it as some free therapy. 

The reason?

 I am not a 100% sure 2013 will be better. 

But I will put forth my effort to make it count and make some changes. 

My last blog post had me questioning myself and whether I was looking at the destination or the journey. I was not enjoying the journey of my life. I was just waiting for the "destination" part to kick in. 

It didn't. 

I need to go back to being the "Journey" type girl and making the most of it. 

It will be difficult and challenging. 

Just like 2012 was. 

What happened in 2012? 

Selling our home over the new year put us in a financial bind, my Dad had been diagnosed with prostrate cancer and needed surgery, then my uncle Bob died, then Grandma died, friend of my Dad died - all within 10 days, illnesses, broken relationships, spirit crushing changes, you name it, the list just didn't seem to end. And it didn't end well either. 

My Dads cancer is back. 

It is in his lungs, kidneys and abdomen. 

It is so aggressive that they started an aggressive chemotherapy treatment within 4 days of the doctor meeting with my parents to tell them it had spread. 

I hate cancer. 

I hate what it does to people. 

I hate hate hate hate it.  

But we have hope, we have an amazing hospital treating my Dad and we have faith. 

So we are starting 2013 with this journey. 

It will be challenging no doubt, but we are determined to get thru it.

Let the journey begin....... 

Life is a Journey

There is a sign hanging in my home that says:

"Life is a journey, not a destination"

It is one of my most favourite sayings and I was thrilled when I found a print of it in Urban Barn.

It also reminds me of my Uncle Bob who would say something similar: "It's not the destination, its the journey"

He couldn't be more right. I miss him.

I've been looking at the sign quite a bit lately.

Wondering if I am actually enjoying the journey or just waiting for the destination.

I've always been a "journey" type gal but lately its been the destination. Which is why I have been so frustrated.

I assume.

What the hell am I waiting for? Why am I waiting? Why am I no longer just going with the flow?

Maybe it's because this year has been so full of changes - good and bad - and I expect more to come.

Maybe I want to control the changes coming our way, or maybe I am just impatient wanting them to be here.

Regardless, I need to go back to enjoying the journey.

I will continue to gaze at my print to remind myself to enjoy the journey.

And to think of Uncle Bob of course.

What about you? Are you a journey taker or destination seeker? Any words of wisdom?

Hello Monday

 The beautiful sunset view from the cottage we rented at lovesick lake.

hello lovesick lake. we enjoyed an amazing vacation with wonderful memories. Thank you.

hello laundry. worst part of getting back from vacation is the chores to be done.

hello sore back. clearly jumping on a water trampoline and doing back flips is not so smart at my age.

hello change. I will try to go with the flow. Try.

hello new dallas. I am totally hooked on this show! Love me some J.R!

hello new family member. i finally convinced Sean to get a dog!! woot!

hello isagenix. i was resistant at first but have learned to love you.

hello back to school. i am trying to not get overwhelmed with the "what needs to get done".

hello patience. hoping to not lose sight of you.

hello monday. i'm generally not a fan of you but you do give me a fresh new start every week. 

found this thru my wonderful friend's Jayne and Lee's blogs :)

what are you saying hello to on this brand new monday?
head on over to lisa's blog and link up in the comments.

8 Things Thursday

1. Summer heat - while I enjoy summer and the "nice" weather that is associated with it, I have to admit I am not a fan of this summer. I hate humidity and feel trapped in it, can't breathe. Why would I want to be outside in that?? Being over 35 degrees for the longest stretch is not nice weather in my opinion.
2. In two weeks, my hubby will be 40. I find it quite humerous that we find it shocking, as if it snuck up on us. I guess its a good thing for the spirit to think of yourself as being younger. Although it will not stop me from singing and dancing on his birthday pointing out that HE is 40 and I still have a couple years ;)
3. Pinterest - why did it take so long for someone to create this?? It is brilliant. The ideas, the inspiration, the laughs - so much time can be spent on that site.
4. Customer Service - is this a lost trait now? Stores, banks, telemarketers - all of them have been an issue for not only myself but friends I have spoken to. It is not something you find anymore. Apparently ignornace is a sought after trait when hiring people these days.
5. Chiropractic Care - a new experience for me. I always thought that once you see a chiropracter and get adjusted that you will ALWAYS have to see one. So I figured, why bother? Then my hip was giving me a hard time (maybe its the almost 40 thing ;) ) and a friend suggested I try it. What a difference! Not just my hip, but feeling like my body is being put back together! Added bonus - my chiro is quite handsome!
6. Crickets - I hate them. They freak me out. Wishing we didn't get Jonah the lizard that ate crickets. Mind you the one that eats mice is no better!!
7. Christmas - struggling with this holiday already.
8. 2012 - I can't believe it is half over. It started off rough. Ok, it sucked big hairy moose balls. But things are picking up. And I am hoping that 2012 ends on a better note than it started on.

What are your 8 things this thursday?? Leave me a comment with a link to your blog. Would love to read it.

Sketchapalooza 8

Need some plans for September? I have a plan for you! Join my wonderful and creative friend Jayne's Sketch class!!
If you have participated in her classes before, you know how awesome they are. And this class offers something a little different - DOUBLES!!
This all new sketch class will feature double page sketches! During this month long course you will be provided with tons of brand new original sketches along with both paper and digital examples of finished pages from our talented designers and digital templates will be provided (both PS and SBC!) This fast paced, exciting class is suitable for any level of scrapper and caters to both traditional and digital artists alike. This class is perfect for anyone who wants to get a lots of pages done and have a ball doing it!


Here is what you can expect during this class:

•A full five weeks of class running from September 1st to October 6th

•Detailed sketches made exclusively for you by our designers

•12 Double pages sketches plus several bonus single page sketches

•At least 26 total page sketches!

•Digital templates provided for each sketch in PS/PSE and SBC!

•Fabulous creative examples for each sketch in both paper and digital by our talented designers

•A private class forum with lots of support and friendly conversation

•A gallery filled with layout examples (in the last class over 450 pages were posted!)

•Self-paced class - do as much or as little as you like

•A PDF file including all the sketches from the class for you to keep for future reference (plus digital scrappers can use the templates over and over again)

•Prizes - who doesn't love a chance to win?

•Plus a few surprises :)

The cost for this month long class is only $25.00.

Ready to sign up? Just go visit the Feeling Scrappy website HERE

I hope to see you in class!!

Falling apart

Have you ever felt like your life was just falling apart?
Did it actually fall apart?
Were you able to pick up the pieces, or did it just consume you?
This is where I had been sitting for quite awhile - in the spot that life consumes you because you feel like it is falling apart.
No one ever said life was easy. We all get hit by life challenges and we generally survive them.
Eventually.
I've always taken the stance that things are not really THAT bad because I know somewhere out there someone else is suffering more than I am.
But when you feel like you are suffering the most, you can forget that about others.
Selfish? Maybe. But it happens.
There were days I didn't want to get out of bed, do my job, talk to anyone.
Closing the world out seemed like the answer at the time.
I realize now that my closing out the world taught me different lessons.

What did I learn?

I hate cancer. Immensely.
I hate hospital protocols.
I hate death.
I'm afraid of death.
I hate what happens to families when sickness or death occurs.
I hate feeling helpless.

What else did I learn?

That cancer can be given a hard fight.
That there are amazing doctors.
That we have awesome health care.
That there are wonderful people in my life.
That I should never lose faith.
That there are people who will help you pull up the bootstraps when needed.
That fearing death takes away my joy of living.
That it is ok to be mad. Sad. Angry.
And sometimes....selfish.
That life will always have challenges and I need to appreciate the lesson those challenges will teach me.
I have learned that when I feel like I am falling apart I need to be aware that the glue is not far away.

And most importantly......
...............I'm not alone.

Friday Fill-Ins - July 12, 2012

And...here we go!

1. For the first time, I ate broccoli salad - and I actually liked it!
2. The colossel water fight the kids and parents had on our street is one of my best memories of the summer so far.
3. My recipe for salsa chicken is one of my favorites because it is easy and low fat!
4. I will be thankful for our move to Brooklin for years to come.
5. It starts with a smile and patient heart.
6. Apple pie or warm fall scents is a fragrance I enjoy most in a candle.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to relaxing and reading, tomorrow my plans include a visit with mom and daddy and Sunday, I want to see Rock of Ages with Colleen!
Do you participate in Friday Fill-Ins? Leave me a link in the comments so I can check it out!
Happy Friday!

Tuesday Top Ten

Everyone has a bit (or a lot) of negative in their lives. Let's focus on the positive. What are your top ten things this week. Anything.
Here are mine, in random order of course:

1. A cancer free Daddy
2. New ink that I am in love with (pictures when healed)
3. Reading a great book that is really tugging at my heart strings and making me see things differently
4. Air conditioning
5. Mio - I hate the taste (if there is any!) of water. This helps and there is no aspertame!
6. Most amazing neighbours who are more than neighbours, they are my best friends
7. Orange and Yellow Gerbera Daisies delivered to my house
8. A husband who tries his best every day
9. A son who promises to always love his Momma
10. A functional scrapbook room

Broken Promise

So I broke a promise.
But its really not that serious.
Honest.
I said I would be a good blogger, posting more often.
Then my life fell apart.
Well, I felt it was falling apart.
Whoops. Broken promise.
I probably should have used my blog as a venting place, online therapist.
But I was just too deep in my pity party hole that I didn't even consider it.
Now things are picking back up.
And I do miss blogging.
Spewing my random thoughts, sharing my good times - its really the best kind of therapy.
And the cheapest.
So I won't make another promise, but hopefully my blog will get back to normal.
And hopefully I will still have followers.
If not, I will be talking to myself. Not cool.
So if you are still out there, thanks for being patient.
Love Char