The baby that wasn't meant to be mine....

It feels like time has just flown by.

This week would have been my due date week had I not had a miscarriage last August.

It happened the day after one of my best friends wedding, I was a bridesmaid. I am thankful that it did not happen on the wedding day itself, but saddened that it happened regardless.
Although this was not a planned pregnancy, it still hurt. Hurt so much that I didn't understand why I was so deeply upset.
My family and friends were all very supportive and comforting. Some people said it was a sign to show me I could still have more kids (with all of my issues, it was doubted), some people said it was God's way of telling me that there was something wrong with the baby and better to take him/her now instead of later, some simply said, "It's ok, it will happen with the time is right"
So how do I know when that time is right? Why wasn't THAT time right?

I truly was devastated to have suffered this miscarriage, and now sitting and thinking that i could have had a baby in my arms right now, consumes me with sadness and a strange feeling of inadequacy. I know I cannot continue to wallow and I know that I cannot go back in time and change things.....I guess I am struggling dealing with the feelings I have for the baby that wasn't meant to be mine.