One Year Ago

One year ago today, I was in the hospital.

You may wonder why I would remember this exact date, but it is stamped in my brain because it was such an emotional situation for me. I was having surgery to remove a mass out of my uterus. A mass that was 4 inches in size, a mass that they thought may be a tumor, a mass that could cause me to have a hysterectomy, the mass that caused my miscarriage a few months earlier. On the day of surgery, this mass.......was not there.


How could that be?? I saw it myself on the pre-surgery ultrasound.

To take you back, this is what happened......

Around May of 2007, I was having "woman issues" and went to the doctor to have it checked out. They did an internal ultrasound and told me if they found anything, they would give me a call. No call came, but my symptoms continued to get worse. In July I received a call from my doctor. He apologized that no one got back to me as he had been off himself due to surgery. He was saving his son's life by donating his kidney. I was told there was a very small "lump" in my uterus and I needed to go for another test. I did the test and it showed that the lump was bigger. While having this test, I was asked repeatedly if I was pregnant. I said no because I honestly didn't know that I was pregnant at the time. My body was so messed up there was no way to track. I was in no way regular at the time. I was sent to see a specialist as they were concerned that the lump was getting bigger so quickly. After the second test, they started referring to it as a "mass" and "potential tumor". While waiting to get into the specialist, I suffered a miscarriage. I was devastated, but for some reason felt like I couldn't show that feeling to my family, just because of everything else that was happening and because it happened the day after my friends wedding - where I had been drinking and dancing.

When I did get in to see the specialist, he told me that the pregnancy "didn't have a hope" with all that had been going on inside me. I was sent to another office to have another internal test. So I am now on my 3rd test, all different technicians. The lump was now 4 inches in size. I saw it myself on the screen, I KNOW it was there. I was scheduled for a uterus mapping and put on the priority list for surgery. I had to wait about 3 weeks after the uterus mapping. Finally surgery day approached. I was scared, I was worried, I had so many things running thru my mind. I was afraid it was cancer, I was given that impression with how things were being handled. My family was at the hospital with me, waiting. It was a long day. The doctor came out and said that they were behind schedule and that they had some earlier emergencies and that we may have to reschedule my surgery. I started to cry. I didn't have the emotional strength to wait and go thru the pre-op prep again. I said I would wait as long as I had to. Thankfully, my wonderful surgeon asked the nurses to stay later so he could do this surgery. So in I went.....

I woke up crying and very sore. My doctor said everything is ok and to rest. I was relieved that they had removed the mass.

After being in recovery, the doctor came back to talk to me now that my head was a little more clear. I was surprised when he told me that there was NO MASS! They went in to remove it and it was not there. There were 2 other small lumps that they removed, they took a piece of my uterus out to test for cancer cells and they performed a D&C because of my miscarriage. But no 4 inch mass. Gone. Vanished.

At first I thought, ok, they made a mistake on the ultrasound. But I had tests done at 3 different facilities. I saw it myself with my own eyes! It was not a cyst because those show up as a bubble. This was a mass. A 4 inch mass in my uterus that they were testing for cancer. And now it was gone.

What happened? Where did it go? Was it a medical error? Was it a miracle?

Whatever it may be, I am thankful that it was not cancer. The tests came back 6 weeks later and showed the lumps were benign. Thank God! I went back for an ultrasound, no mass. Thank God again! I don't know what happened, but I know it is no longer there. I can let go off all the bad feelings, bad thoughts, worries. I could finally sleep!

So that is my story on why this date is always on my mind. It was a date that potentially could have changed my whole life. In a way, it did change my life. For the better.