Brave Fella

This morning Sean and Jonah were playing and a tug of war game ensued. Jonah was laughing wholeheartedly - one of my favourite things :)

I couldn't help laugh out loud when Jonah said to his Daddy:

"Wow Daddy, you're pretty strong for an old guy!"

That's my brave lil fella Jonah.

A giveaway!

Have you met Ella yet? If you haven't, you must GO HERE to check her out!

Ella offers amazing ebooks, challenges and fun! The authors are brilliantly talented and beyond inspiring!

They have just released two more eBooks - Stretch Your Sketches and A Year In Life

As part of my "giveback every month" for this year, I want to give away one of these fantastic eBooks - you choose!

I will randomly draw a winner next Saturday, January 30th - my birthday!

All you have to do is leave a comment and tell me about your most memorable birthday moment! Come on, there should be some doozzies out there!

Get an extra chance to win by posting this on your blog, facebook or Twitter!

Can't wait to read your comments!

8 Things Thursday - My Boy

This will be a very easy list to put together - all about my boy Jonah!

1. He is the most sensitive child I have ever met.
2. He understands that sometimes other peoples needs have to go before his.
3. His heart breaks for others who are experiencing difficulty.
4. He loves unconditionally.
5. He is frickin funny!
6. He wants to be with his Momma for always, even when he moves to England to marry Olivia, he told me he wants me to move with him. *mush*
7. He is generous.
8. He wants to buy his Momma an orange kitty and name her Princess Peach because that is her favourite character on Mario Brothers.

My boy Jonah. So love him.

Enjoy your thursday!

Recovering, slowly but surely

Hello my friends.

I am back home from the hospital recovering. My surgery went very well, better than the doctor expected actually. The lesion was not cancer, it was scar tissue *insert happy dance here*
I will get the results of the masses in 2-3 weeks. Think good thoughts!

The recovery is a lot harder than I thought. Today was actually a hard day. Feels like nothing is "right" with my body. Add that to the regular discomfort and my emotions and you got yourself a sobbing, swearing red head. FanFreakinTastic!

I know I have to be patient. I know I have to rest. I know it will get better.

Slowly but surely I am recovering.

The good news is, the surgery is over, results are VERY positive and I am on my way to wellness.
The flowers, jammies and cooked meals are pretty frickin awesome too ;)

Thank you for all your sweet comments, emails, thoughts and prayers.

MUAH!

What can be done?

I have been watching the news coverage of the destruction in Haiti and it makes me sick to my stomach and pisses me off. I too am devastated with what I am seeing. But this is where my anger falls into play.....

Why did we have to wait for this tragedy to acknowledge the despair??
Will we still be trying to raise the funds in a week, a month? Or only until the next distraction comes along - maybe when Michael Jacksons doctor goes on trial, or when Heidi Montag decides on yet another plastic surgery? Just like many tragedies, this will get bumped from the headlines quicker than NBC dumped Conan for Leno.

I am all for awareness and fundraising. I just wish it didn't have to take a tragedy to bring it forward.

I know you are asking, so Char, what are YOU doing to help out? How are YOU keeping the awareness alive?

I honestly don't know. Writing a cheque just doesn't seem to be enough. We have been teaching Jonah about giving and those less fortunate and I don't want that lesson to be lost.

My mind is turning.

Something has to be done. Something. I just don't know what I can do.

Sigh.......

1. The lesson I learned yesterday was hospital policies do not keep the patients best interest in mind - it's all about the $$$

2. On the road of love, trust and compromise is where friends and family meet.

3. All these years I thought I would be in a different place, I'm not and that is ok! I am happy!

4. I'm not so sure the world was ready for me when I arrived!

5. The truth is when the chips are down, it is up to you to pick them up.

6. When Jonah was born, he was so content, didn't scream, eyes wide open trying to figure out what the frig just happened just looking at us. The feeling was incredible. That is what I remember most from that day.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to resting and getting better, tomorrow my plans include the same with some visitors and Sunday, I want to hear all about the excitement Jonah had at Monster Jam!

Saying Goodbye....

....is never an easy thing.

I was never a fan of that song. Always turned it off when it came on the radio. Oddly enough, the last couple of days I have been saying that line in my head. Just that one line. Why? Because that it how I am feeling about my upcoming surgery.

My male readers - this may be your time to check out ;)

When I was a young gal, I was told I would not have a baby. I had a lot of "issues" in that area and the doctors prepared me to be childless. Even put it in my head that even if I DID get pregnant, the chance of me having a healthy baby were slim, that I probably wouldn't carry to full term and could possibly hurt myself in the process. I was lucky enough to have a doctor who believed it would happen. And it did. On Tuesday February 11, 2003, I gave birth to the most precious baby boy. My Jonah.

Now, it wasn't a perfect pregnancy and the problems that I had before came back - even worse. I suffered a miscarriage and also had a mass in my uterus. I had surgery to repair and I was cancer-free. Apparently my uterus decided to be a bitch and have an attitude. Here I am again, with 2 more masses and a lesion. Pain that actually makes me pass out. I went to the doctors, specialists and they only had one resolution.

This Wednesday, I am having a hysterectomy.

I would say most, if not all, of my friends responded the exact same way. With a "I am so relieved for you" or "Oh that is so great!" and even a "congratulations!". Meanwhile, I was torn apart.

Now don't get me wrong, I am a logical person. I KNOW that this is the right step for my health, for my WELLNESS. But my emotions tend to overrule logic. Me, emotional? Imagine that!!

The part that I am having a hard time with is saying goodbye to a vital piece of me. I was told for a long time that I would not have a baby. I did and now they want to take out that piece. They are taking out my Jonah home. My Jonah Home. His first home. I am in tears just writing this, this is how much it bothers me. The fact that they are just going to chuck it in the trash when it carried so much meaning to me. I can't bear it.

I received a wonderful email from my friend Sheri, who I have known since we were little girls. She told me that I am not losing Jonah's first home. His first home was my in my heart and soul. I had a good cry. Of course she is right. And I know that. I just have a hard time letting go.

I have awesome family and friends who are supportive and doing what they can to assure me that it will all be ok. Love and support, not just empty words. It is that which will help me say goodbye.

Because saying goodbye is never an easy thing.

8 Things: Crafty Plans

Another week has passed. Time for 8 Things Thursday! Do you participate? Leave me a link to your blog if you do. If you want to join in, go HERE!

This week I chose to list 8 things that I have on my "Crafty/Scrappy To do List" - maybe this will hold me accountable to actually get them D.O.N.E!!

1. Altered Advent Calendar - ok I know it is January, but I figure if I get the ball rolling now it just may be done come Decemeber! I just need to find one in stock without having to pay thru my....well, you know.
2. Altered Clipboard for MYSELF. Last May, I went to Cape Code with a bunch of wonderful gals. Monica helped me complete a clipboard for Jonahs teacher as an end of the year gift. I liked it so much I wanted one for myself. Lee helped me gather the required supplies that would be perfect for me. Now I just have to get it done.
3. Wellness Album - Since my little word for 2010 is Wellness, I thought it would be a great idea to document that journey! I am not sure how yet. Maybe layouts, may just be journalling, maybe some inspiring quotes. The idea came to me when I was cleaning up my scrap area and sorting thru my fabulous box of goodies from my friend Kyla! It has an album in there that I think will be perfect!
4. Me: The Abridged Version - my very first Cathy Z class. I had enrolled in the class but then we had some upset personally. Instead of cancelling, Cathy suggested I complete the class at a later date and that the journalling could be healing for me. She was right! (Of course!). I have started some journalling and it definately comes at the perfect time. Lots of emotion to pour out. I really want to get this one done.
5. Design Your Life - my 2nd Cathy Z class. This is a larger scale class. I wasn't going to join given the timeframe but I had many enablers! (cough...Barb...cough cough...Monica.....cough....Lee). I am SOOOO glad I have these enablers. First week and I can already tell this class is worth it! Again, with my surgery being next week, I will have to put this class off.
6. Altered Chipboard Albums - I have 3 to finish! I am almost done BEACH, kit is ready for FAMILY and Santa brought me the BELIEVE album that I still have to gather supplies for.
7. Digital Scrapping - I have the PSE, now I just need to take a tutorial to LEARN how to do it and give it a try! I have many fabulous templates to help me along the way.
8. Layouts! I have taken some classes and learned some new techniques. Now, its time to get them down on layouts!!

Lots of scrappy plans for me!!

One Little Word

Last year I joined in on selecting a word that would reflect you and your life for that year.
In 2009 I selected the word STRIVE. I chose that for many reasons and really did think that it was a good word!
Little did I know that it would reflect much more than I anticipated.

The meaning of Strive, as indicated in the dictionary means:

- to exert oneself vigorously; try hard; to make strenuous efforts toward any goal:

Perfect! That is what I wanted to do!

My plans for 2009 were:

1. STRIVE to be a better mom each day
2. STRIVE to learn more about my hobby
3. STRIVE to be healthier
4. STRIVE to learn forgiveness

Now that 2009 has ended, I googled the word Strive again to see how it played against my year. I found these additional meanings:

- to contend in opposition, battle, or any conflict; compete.

- to struggle vigorously, as in opposition or resistance: to strive against fate.

- to rival; vie.

Boy! Is that ever true!!

I battled many things in 2009 - many which had great lessons and many which had great heartache.

• Deaths, unemployment, illness, car accident, kidney stones, broken elbow, intense physio, more deaths, being un-invited to a funeral, generally not being well!

I struggled vigorously - mostly to not lose my mind!

Rival - an on-going battle with Sean's family that continued even after death.

But.....at the end of it all, I survived.

I initially thought my little word for 2010 would be Survival. But I did that last year and I don't want to set a goal that assumes more bad things will come my way. I wanted to select a word that will really reflect my goals for 2010.

Without a doubt in my mind, I have selected the perfect word for myself:

WELLNESS

For my mind, body and spirit, I want WELLNESS. No....I NEED wellness.

I am not going to sit back and hope this happens. I have made a plan for myself and I owe it to my family to make it happen. I am even going to document my wellness journey.

My first step for wellness is accepting that I have to have a hysterectomy. It has been scheduled for January 13th. This will help make my body well but it is up to me to make my mind well about it. I am working on it, I really am.

Wellness in 2010 is my goal and it's a goal that I am confident will be achieved.

Do you have a little word? Please share it with me!

For Today....

Inspired by the Simple Woman's Daybook)

OUTSIDE MY WINDOW ... it is finally looking like winter! Snow that has actually stuck to the ground! Where was it 2 weeks ago??? Sheesh!

I AM THINKING ... I have so much to do before my surgery next week!! YIKES!

WE ARE LEARNING … to be more organized, set goals and move forward!

I AM THANKFUL FOR ... my unbelievably supportive friends who are relieved for me, not sad for me.

FROM THE KITCHEN ... I need to find a bunch of crock pot recipes or casserole dishes to get my boys thru the next few weeks!

I AM WEARING ... my fluffy blue housecoat. It's very comforting.

I AM GOING ... to get a lot done this week. I have to. No choice.

I AM READING ... again FINALLY! I just finished About Alice, today I am starting a new book - name escapes me that my friend Sarah gave me and I always have the wonderful inspiring blogs!

I AM CREATING ... a plan. Yes, I was doing that last week, but I am new to this and want it to be of value!

I AM HOPING ... that this surgery next week will be the fix to my problems and the first step on my WELLNESS journey. I am hoping that I can get my emotions in check within the next 9 days!

I AM HEARING ... Jonah playing Xbox. He is home from school because of a nasty rash.

AROUND THE HOUSE ... there is a sneaky little buggar of a mouse that I am determined to catch. And at this point, I don't care if it is done humanely or not! LOL

ONE OF MY FAVOURITE THINGS ... is tea. But it HAS to be Tetley. MUST BE Tetley. After a weekend at the Great Wolf Lodge, who serves only Red Rose (yuck, puke, gack!), the first thing Sean and I did was make a cup of tea - good tea!!

A FEW PLANS FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK ... run a few errands, trips to the hospital for blood work and pre-op appts, clean the house, scrapbook night at Sandys (YAY!!) and just all round getting ready and back in order.

A PICTURE TO SHARE ...

My nephews - James and Ryan. My handsome men. Rarely do I get a photo of them when they are both smiling!